Kelley's Story

I thought I was special; I had two mommies and two daddies.  My adopted mom always told me I was special; that I had two mommies and two daddies that loved me very much.  My biological mom was 16, and in 1969 it just wasn’t heard of for a 16-year-old to have a child.  You couldn’t even stay in school when you were pregnant in 1969.  She really went above and beyond what she really had to do by giving me a better life because she wasn’t able to raise me.  She was so unselfish to give me to a home where there was a mother and a father, and I know that she did this all out of love; the love that she felt for me.

Even though abortion wasn’t as available in 1969 she still had the choice to have an abortion.  The fact that she chose not to and gave me up for adoption instead showed that she loved me very much.

It was funny when we met my biological mother; my adopted mom was with me.  She was very supportive of me meeting my biological family. We all started crying and the first thing my adopted mom said was, “Oh my gosh, you walk like her.”  I felt so complete.  I had my adopted mom there; I had my biological mom there. I actually had the two women who loved me more than anything in this whole world, and we were together.

I wanted to know what she was interested in; I wanted to know what her life was like now.  I wanted to know if I had brothers and sisters. I wanted to know just everything about this woman who loved me so much to give me the life and the opportunities that I’ve had in my life.  I’m here because of this wonderful woman who gave me up for adoption and this wonderful woman who raised me.

The first thing she wanted to know was if I had brothers and sisters.  She wanted to know what I liked to do growing up. Was I athletic; did I play a musical instrument?  She wanted to know what I studied in college.  It was more just getting to know one another and finding out how much we were really alike.

I can’t imagine what her life was like when she found out she was pregnant at 16 and not even being able to stay in school. Knowing that you had to hide it; that it had to be a secret. She wanted to keep me, but she also considered abortion.  There were so many options for her, but she knew that adoption was best for her.  She moved out of the community while she was pregnant which was best for her because she didn’t want people to know she was pregnant. That leads me back to the fact that she could have just had an abortion and it would have gone away.  She chose not to.  She said that abortion had gone through her mind, but that it really wasn’t an option for her.  For some reason, God placed a baby with her, and she knew she had to continue this pregnancy.  When she spoke to my biological father who was 18, she lied and told him that she had a miscarriage.  He went off to the Vietnam War, and she went off to St. Louis to the unwed mothers’ home.  When he came back, she wasn’t pregnant and went on as though nothing had changed.

I just think about the person I am and that if she would have had an abortion, I wouldn’t be here.  I wouldn’t be who I am.  I am so much like her, yet I am so much like my adopted mother.  I think of the women who consider abortion and their other options and how there are people out there who can’t have children.  My adopted mother couldn’t have children. She wanted to be a mother so badly, and she was able to because my biological mother gave her the ability to be a mother.

I’d say to women facing an unplanned pregnancy, “Look at me.”   Adoption is so unselfish.  It’s probably the most unselfish thing a woman can do; placing your baby into someone else’s arms.  My biological mother knew that at 16 she couldn’t give me the life emotionally, financially, and physically that she wanted to.  She had dreams herself.  She wanted to go to college. She wanted to grow up.  She’ll always be a mommy.  She told me there wasn’t one day that went by that she didn’t think about me, especially on my birthdays.  She knew by being unselfish and by loving me that placing me in an adoptive how was the right thing. 

I can’t even imagine the feelings that she had.  She wrote letters about me when she was a teenager.  I have all of them.  She’d write and wonder where I was and what I was doing; what I was like; what I looked like.  All the while she’s writing these letters as a teenager, there was nothing but love. She hoped and prayed in her heart that I was in a good home and that someday we’d get to meet each other, and we did. We have now built a relationship.

I finally know now who I look like. Being in a family with all adopted children none of us looked alike.  I was 8 days old when I was adopted, and I have two adopted brothers.  It’s actually amazing to meet my biological mother and father and see the characteristics that I have.  Seeing who I walk like; who I talk like,

My biological father thought I had died, because my biological mother had told him that she had a miscarriage. They actually did get married when they were old enough and out of school, and they had a daughter.  My biological sister told my dad that she had a sister and my dad told me that he had known my biological mom was pregnant, but he thought I had died. The day that I met him, once again I had my adopted mother there, he cried and cried.  I can’t describe the feeling.  He hugged me and told me he was sorry.  He didn’t even know I existed.  He accepted me and welcomed me into his family and I was just another one of his kids.   I have a half brother and of course my biological sister.  I was just his oldest daughter.  When he introduces me to people there’s not any question about who I am.  I am his oldest daughter.

This all confirms what my adopted mother always told me, that I was special and had people who loved me more than I’ll ever know because I had two mommies and two daddies.